Wednesday, March 15, 2006

We continue to have good days and positive experiences each day and yet we are still dealing with some ongoing issues that we just can’t seem to get resolved. But whether good or bad, we can praise God for His faithfulness to us and His sustaining grace that carries us through each day. Jonathan is progressing really well with his drum lessons. Each Thursday evening we go to Mr. Brian and Mrs. Debbie’s house for Jonathan’s lessons. I get to sit downstairs and visit with Mrs. Debbie while Mr. Brian teaches Jonathan upstairs. Mr. Brian is a wonderful teacher and loves Jonathan very much. This past week as I was sitting downstairs listening, I heard Mr. Brian start Jonathan’s lesson with prayer. I guess I never heard this before, but Jonathan said he prays before he starts each lesson. I was really touched by this. We are so grateful that God has brought Mr. Brian into Jonathan’s life. We also took the urine collection for the Cushings test and we took it to the lab on Friday. We have not received the results back yet. We are still making this a matter of prayer. After finishing school on Friday, we spent the rest of the day with our family in Ft. Worth celebrating Aunt Susan’s birthday. We had a nice restful weekend at home this weekend, our first free weekend since basketball season started. It was nice to have the whole day to ourselves. Because of spring break this week, we took Monday and Tuesday off from school so that the kids could hang out with some of their friends. On Tuesday, Jonathan went to his first therapeutic riding lesson. When we got there, we found out that instead of having Ms. Linda as our therapist, we had Ms. Tammy, and instead of having Sterling as his horse, we got Skip. It was a great experience for Jonathan. We learned the routine of getting the horse ready to ride. After Ms. Tammy brings Skip from the field, Jonathan will lead him to the area where he will get his saddle pads, saddle, and girth and put Skip together after a good brushing. She taught him how to talk to Skip when he approaches, how to walk behind Skip so that he doesn’t scare him, how to lead Skip around (always on the left side), and what commands to give him to stop and go. Jonathan rode Skip around the trail and then took everything off, put it back up and brushed Skip again before leading him back to the field. Ms. Tammy was very impressed with Jonathan. She said he handled Skip as though he had done this before. He sat up very straight while riding Skip and did not seem nervous at all. We are very pleased with our experience so far and look forward to getting to do this each week. Our good friends, Chad, Sarah, Lindsey and Mrs. Laura Jones, left Jonathan a cool picture to welcome him to Spirithorse riding. Chad and Lindsey both have lessons there and they are the ones who helped us get started out there. Everyone was pretty impressed that Jonathan already had mail there on his very first day! Thanks for the encouragement!
While we had pretty good days this last week, we have not had good nights. Last week I thought the melatonin was working, so I even gave him 3 tablets a couple of nights, hoping it would make it even better. Unfortunately, those were some of his worst nights. I backed the melatonin down to 2 tablets again and then just quit giving it to him. It is obvious that this is not our answer. These last few nights have been rough. Jonathan might sleep for an hour and then spend the next 2-3 hours crying every 5-10 minutes. Sunday night was one of those nights. Jonathan’s friend, Zachary came over early Monday morning and spent the day playing with him. After a bad night, I was not sure that was going to be a good idea, but it turned out to be a very good thing for Jonathan. He fell asleep while we were watching a movie that evening and woke up twice crying and disoriented. He was up and down all night Monday night. He even woke up crying in the morning. Jonathan went back to sleep after breakfast and woke up a couple of times, again crying and disoriented. He seemed so tired and weary. I was worried that it was going to put a damper on his therapeutic riding experience, but he was able to handle it fine. I couldn’t help but worry that this is taking its toll on Jonathan and that it could be hurting him physically. I spent some time crying out to God about this. I just don’t know what to do and I can’t seem to find anyone who can help me with it. I just asked God to help me and show me what to do or who to go to. The Moms in Touch group that I am part of prayed with me about this Tuesday evening. After our prayer meeting, I checked my messages. I received a message from a Pediatric Therapy office that had been recommended to me that I had called on Monday. I felt that this was God’s answer to my plea for wisdom and direction. I called them back today and I am very hopeful that this may be the next step in the direction that God wants us to go. I shared with them the desires we have for Jonathan’s ongoing progress as well as the sleeping issues that we are facing. Her responses encouraged me to hope that they will at least try to help us deal with this issue effectively more than anyone else has. We have an appointment with them next Tuesday morning at 9:15 am. I wish it were this week, but we will continue to pray and ask for God’s healing and intervention in the mean time. Fortunately, Jonathan slept better last night. He woke up without crying this morning and we were able to get back to school today with no trouble. Since the kids have had friends over the last couple of days, and we have not done school, I have taken some time to spend reading the Bible, praying and reading a new book. My heart has been heavy these last few days over this sleeping issue. I continue to pray but it seems like heaven is silent. I know that God hears my prayers but why hasn’t He answered this yet? It’s been going on for 6 months now and it’s not getting any better. I read through the journal last year at this time and God seemed to be answering our prayers left and right, day after day. I feel like I have fallen off that mountain and I can’t find my way out of this valley. Yesterday I had this feeling of fear and anxiety that filled my heart as I watched Jonathan struggle just to make it through the day, falling asleep on three separate occasions. My heart aches for him to be able to overcome this. After our prayer group and receiving that hopeful message from the new therapy office, I read a chapter in my book before going to bed. The chapter was entitled “Enjoying God’s Presence.” I was encouraged by these words:
“Sometimes we’re challenged to believe God is with us simply because He promised. That’s faith. Heb. 13:5 assures us: “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” We cannot escape God’s presence, but we do not always sense His presence. God’s presence in our lives is absolutely unchanging, but the evidence of His presence is not. On some occasions God may purposely alter the evidences of His presence to bring the most benefit from our experience. Sometimes we receive the most benefit from seeing many visible “prints” of His invisible hands during a difficult season. (That was last year at this time) Other times we profit most from seeing fewer evidences. God does not love us less when He gives us fewer evidences. He simply desires to grow us up and teach us to walk by faith.” (That’s were I feel we are this year). There is so much about our God that I continue to learn. Even though these days have been difficult, my God remains faithful.
I know that many of you remain faithful to check on us and pray for us. You are all such an incredible blessing to us. Please continue to pray for Jonathan and the things that he is facing right now. Continue to pray for the results of the Cushings test, that God would reveal His healing and that the levels would be within normal range. Please continue to pray earnestly for healing of Jonathan’s sleeping problems. Pray for complete healing of his brain, his vision and his diabetes. Please pray that God will continue to show us His will and His direction as we meet with this new therapy group next week. Pray that we will have wisdom and know God’s voice about what to do. Pray that we will be able to get the help we need to assist us with his sleeping issues and that Jonathan would continue to progress in his walking and gain strength in his hips, legs and feet. Praise God for the wonderful blessing of therapeutic riding that we received this week. Please remember to pray for Ms. Tammy and for our new horse friend, Skip. I want to leave you with a Scripture that I read from little Benjamin’s Mom. It spoke to me and mirrored my own heart and mind tonight. May God richly bless each of you this week.

Psalm 5: Giv e ear to my words, O LORD, consider my sighing. 2 Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. 3 In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation… 8 Lead me, O LORD, in your righteousness because of my enemies-- make straight your way before me… 11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. 12 For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

No comments: